Thursday, October 05, 2006
Quality Time?
By Gary E. Anderson
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few years that fills me with wonder. That phrase is "quality time." We've all heard it, and we all seem to accept it as a real concept. But to the average country person, that phrase is difficult to comprehend.
Here's what I mean. Last summer, my 10-year-old son Cody and I spent an entire day walking the fields, checking fences. When we saw a post that needed straightening or a strand of wire that needed to be tightened, we set right to work. Sweat poured across our faces, our shirts grew soaked from the hard work we were engaged in. But as we strained against the task at hand, we talked about his little league baseball team and how he could improve his hitting to the opposite field.
Then, as we walked a little farther down the fence line, we laughed till we cried when a covey of quail nearly gave us a heart attack as they exploded out of the grass in front of us. We heard the amazingly varied call of a cardinal in the woods off to our right. We saw two red-tailed hawks circling lazily over our heads, and marveled at how they could see field mice at such a height.
It was a typical day for us, father and son. We weren't doing anything "special." We were working. And yet, I know from similar experiences with my own dad when I was Cody's age that days like these would be the ones that came to mind once he'd grown up and had children of his own.
So I ask again: was that "quality time?"
Think back to your own childhood. What things do you remember most about your parents? Was it the fact that your dad worked 16 hours a day at the office, and fell asleep on the couch on the weekends because he was too exhausted to move? No, I'm willing to wager that's not what you remember. More likely, you remember the time you went for a long walk along the country road in the rain and came home looking like not only something the cat had dragged in, but something he'd dragged in and forgotten under the refrigerator for a month.
It's been said that kids spell "love" ... t-i-m-e, and I couldn't agree more.
So the next time you hear yourself thinking that you'll make it up to your daughter when she asks you to play "Chutes and Ladders" for the seven millionth time, remember: your kids are watching you, and it doesn't matter how young they are; they know how to spell the word "quality," too.
Strangely enough, to our kids, the word "quality" is spelled exactly the same as the word "love."
They're both spelled T-I-M-E.
From the book Spider's Big Catch
Gary Anderson
� 2004. Gary E. Anderson. All rights reserved.
About The Author
Gary Anderson is a freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter, and manuscript analyst, living on a small Iowa farm. He's published more than 500 articles and four books. He's also ghosted a dozen books, edited more than 30 full-length manuscripts, produced seven newsletters, and has done more than 800 manuscript reviews for various publishers around the nation. If you need writing or editing help, visit Gary's website at www.abciowa.com.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The Thing with Quality Time
By Marsha Maung
It's funny how people seem to think that they have spent quality time with their kids after work by bringing them out to the mall for a lifeless and meaningless stroll only to come home with nothing more than a whole bunch of stuff that they (or the kids) don't need. In fact, time has been wasted because kids don't NEED you to bring them out to the shopping mall to waste time. They want and NEED to be with you.
It's really funny because I used to think taking my kids out for a very casual window-shopping trip was meaningful too until someone pointed out to me that my kids were STILL closer to someone else (their daycaregiver) when compared to me. I mean, what is it with kids, anyway? I take them out, don't I? I try my best to give them whatever they want. I buy them presents, don't I? They have more clothes than me, don't they?
But here's the sad part�.that's not quality time.
Quality time with your kids is just staying home with absolutely nothing to do, just lolling around on the carpet watching �Blue's Clues' or �Sesame Street' together giving each other nonchalant kisses and exchanging hugs (and repeated reviews about the show). Spending quality time with the kids involve nothing more than just CONNECTING with the kids, not spending detached moments of dis-connectivity loitering through unfamiliar places. It's about spending time connecting with the kids when you KNOW you've GOT SOMETHING ELSE BETTER TO DO.
I spent one whole Friday thinking about what to do with the kids on Saturday and Sunday and end up with nothing. So, on the weekends, we spent hours in front of the TV coloring bananas, gorillas, and calculator on pieces of paper. We, then, took the bicycle to the park and cycled around. Joshua got scrapes on his knees and Jared was more than unhappy with the fact that his big brother made more �sand castles' in the park than he did - but we all came home knowing that we knew each other better.
You see, spending quality time with the kids is all about getting to know your kids. Making an effort to be there for them when you know you CAN be doing something else with your life. We know we can use that time to actually finish off the report or call that important client up - but the most important thing with quality time with kids is that we DON'T.
� Marsha Maung 2005
Please feel free to reprint this article anywhere in your website, magazine, ezine, or other types of publications for free. Please note that you should keep the byline in tact and please provide links back to the web addresses provided in the byline. Thanks.
Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from home. She designs apparel and premium items at http://www.creativejooz.com and http://www.allmomstuff.com and is the author of "Raising little magicians", and the popular "The Lance in freelancing". More information can be found at http://www.marshamaung.com
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Benefits of Quality People Mixing With Other Quality People - Who Are Your Children Mixing With?
By Gary Simpson
Have you heard the expressions: "talking the talk" and "walking the talk?" What about: "do as I say and not as I do?" Or: "your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying?"
All these expressions pretty much convey the same message. There are those who prefer to give advice that they themselves do not take. Worse, some will lead others down a very dangerous path. The power of association is indeed strong.
Quality people are consistent in their quality beliefs and quality actions. So, what are the benefits of being a quality person? How do you recognize a quality person?
They are the three main traits of quality people. A quality person will attract others of the same ilk. So do thieves and vagabonds, but that is at the opposite end of the spectrum.
What do you think when you see friendship between a person of quality who you know and a person that you do not know? Naturally, you form an opinion that the person who you don't know is also a person of quality.
Conversely, when you see an unknown person associating with a known criminal, thief or thug, what does that tell you?
Yes, you will be judged by others not only for your personal beliefs and qualities but also for the quality of those whom you choose to keep company with. The beliefs and qualities of friends also influence the person that you are.
By being a quality person you will automatically attract other quality people into your life. This association brings further positive benefits.
If you wish to maintain your integrity be careful about who you associate with. Your life will be better when you nurture and maintain quality relationships.
In the developmental phase of young children this is the defining factor upon which many of their personal traits begin to take shape. That is why it is so important for children to mix with people who will have a quality influence on their upbringing. What type of people are your children mixing with?
This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.
About the author: Gary Simpson is the author of eight books covering a diverse range of subjects such as self esteem, affirmations, self defense, finance and much more. His articles appear all over the web. Gary's email address is budo@iinet.net.au. Click here to go to his
Motivation & Self Esteem for Success website where you can receive his "Zenspirational Thoughts" plus an immediate FREE copy of his highly acclaimed, life-changing e-book "The Power of Choice."
Monday, October 02, 2006
Dad, How Do You Define Quality Time?
By Detra Davis
Fathers are not normally associated with child rearing activities and there are some things that can change that belief. It is not how much time you spend with your children but the quality of time you spend with them.
It's no surprise that with companies demanding more or parent's time and paying less for that time, many moms and dads are becoming frustrated and guilty about no spending the kind of time they would like with their children. So what's a dad to do? Get connected. The new wave of the future involves video-conferencing and it is proving that it can be a valuable parenting tool.
Today video-conferencing is quickly becoming the extraordinary all-around effort to assist dads in maintaining a loving relationship with their children, whether it involves his once-a-month trips to New York, or frequent short trips around the home state, videoconferencing is will quickly become a marvelous way to supplement dad's effort to stay connected.
Older children will find video-conferencing offering them to opportunity to give more and get more from dad than is received by phone or email. You will need Broadband Internet access to make the hook-ups work well. Web cameras like Quickcam by Logitech sells from $49.99 to $99.99; and high end cams; i.e. like those for Sony offer a complete set-top video-conferencing unit, with lifelike images for the television screen for about $5000.
It is important to note that video-conferencing as a mode of communication with your children is currently operating on land that has yet to be charted. The research is still not in, but from the comments received from parents living and working out of state and out of the U.S. , it's the next best thing to being there.
There is no doubt that video-conferencing will affect different children differently, and parents must watch closely to see what the experience means to their child, but as it stands today parent-child video-conferencing seems likely to grow.
As the technology improves, we may only be a few steps away for saying��Beam me up Scotty!�
Detra D. Davis is a certified Parent Educator with the North Carolina Parent Network and has been a writer for over 25 years. Visit her website http://www.supportingourchildren.com, a membership site supporting parents, schools, parent organizations and support groups that encourage parent education and parent involvement.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Children and Golf - Making Quality Family Time
By Richard C Myers
What the Harry Potter books did for children and reading, Tiger Woods did for children and golf. Which is to bring a passion to an activity that before might not have been enticing.
These days, children are beginning to discover what their parents and grandparents have known for years: golf is cool! Although children are likely taken initially with the hitting a golf ball part, many learn quickly what adults have always known - it's a great stress reliever, a fun activity and can provide a challenge that's always exciting.
But your child's new found interest in golf brings a whole new challenge for you. If you golf to get away from things, what happens if your child begs to come along?
There are a few options. First, check out the class offerings at your local golf course. Many are offering classes, camps and weekend sessions specifically for children. Many are offered for children as young as 6. You might even be able to time the class so you can get in a game of golf while your child learns their game.
At this stage, it's not necessary to purchase your child a set of golf clubs. If they take a class at a golf course, everything they need will be provided by the course. As with any activity your child might show interest in, it's best to make sure the interest is valid and true before investing in expensive sporting goods and supplies.
Be patient with your child. Many children think of golf as a little like baseball -- hit the ball really hard and see how far it goes. The gentle nuance of the game might come later, with training and education. A good class can teach them finer points of the game.
Consider that golfing with your child might be a good bonding experience. Sure, you might really want to play with your child so they become a Tiger Woods or Michelle Wide, but most parents will be a bit more resistant. If you're in the camp that sees your child's budding interest in golf as interference on your own golf time, think of it instead as an opportunity to build a bridge.
Over the years, the time you spend with your child on the golf course could be invaluable. Not only will you build a strong bond through a shared interest, but also the natural talk that flows from golf will serve you when your child hits an age when they'd rather not talk to you about anything.
Richard Myers is a keen golfer and his web site http://www.thinkandreachpar.com and http://www.golfforleftys.com contain many free tips and great golfing advice to help you to improve your swing and lower your score.
